Dear Michelle Rodriguez,

Hey! What's up? I'm just sitting here at work. I've sorta done everything I can do today, so I thought I'd write you a quick note. First, let me explain why I can't stop thinking about you lately. I rented the first two discs of season one of the "hit" television show LOST. Michelle, I don't really watch television I don't really like it. There are about 5 or 6 television shows i've watched on DVD, but the only way I can possibly stomach them is if they are void of commercials. I can't stand those fucking things. Anyway! I rented that overrated, trite, completely predictable, and worthless show just because you were in it. I watched 5 or 6 episodes. I lost sleep, just waiting for you. You never came. I am now dumber for spending like 6 hours of my pathetic life melting (it was a hot weekend, Michelle) in front of my lap top, with a grey cat shedding all over my face. I admit it is not your fault that it was hot, or that my life is pathetic and my cat sheds. I'm not that presumptuous.

There is something else I want to tell you, Michelle. I am going on a trip with my friends in a couple of days. We are so excited, as we are touring the MidWest. I wish you could come. Then again, maybe not. I guess my point is this: Your behavior seems unusually erratic these days. I mean, dude you got a D.U.I. That sucks. It's a little irresponsible, but I'm not writing to judge. We've all made mistakes. Serve your time. You said you were going to move to France, because you had to go to jail? What does that even mean, Michelle? Serve your time, for real. Face the consequences of your actions. You are 27, it's time to grow up.

Last night I started watching Blue Crush. I love that movie so much. I paid $8 to see it in the theater. It was a stupid, feel-good, chick-flick show-but so what? Here is a tip: Don't forget your Girlfight days. I mean that was your birth. That was the beginning of your history. You made it this far because of that film, because of what you accomplished in it. Revisit that place within yourself. Stop fucking around with this new trash. I mean, a sistah's gotta make a buck, and don't I know it. Do a Blue Crush, your allowed. In order for this to work out between us, I need a little compromise. I need you to act in some good shit. some real shit. you know? I'm asking. As a fan. As a friend, Michelle. Please?


"Go Do The Right Thing"
-Dr. Laura


Sincerely,
Nikki